Making effective prayers is complex, but I will try to explain. After guiding many people in matters of prayer, I have observed a certain trend. This trend is very common, and it bothers me a lot. I have to admit, it is not the easiest to understand, but I will do my best to explain it.
My Silent Dilemma
Many times, when people ask me for guidance on how to pray for a specific matter, I find myself in a tough position. I often struggle to decide how deep I should go when giving them details. On the surface, you might easily say, “Augustine, give as many details as you can so that people benefit the most.”
But the challenge with giving too many details is that people can become confused. Sometimes, too much detail can make the message feel harsh, and it ends up discouraging them. On the other hand, failing to give enough detail often leaves people assuming they are doing everything right when they are not.
I have often given people advice, and they left disappointed after realizing how difficult the situation was. This reminds me of an interesting account in Matthew 19:21–22. Jesus told the young man that to be perfect, he should sell all he had, give to the poor, and follow Him to gain heavenly treasure, but the man left sorrowful because he was very wealthy.
Similarly, I have had cases where people left excited, yet I knew they would soon be disappointed. Today, I want to share with you a tip, and you will see what I mean. I have used this prayer tip in my own life and received very good results. I have no doubt about its effectiveness, but I am cautious about how you may react to it.
This concept sounds contrary to popular teachings on prayer, but it works. It is this fact that makes me a little scared to share it. But if I am to be stoned, so be it.
The Effectiveness of Prayer
The effectiveness of prayer is determined by two main factors, how well the prayer is aligned with God’s plan, and how specific the prayer is.
1. Aligning with God’s Plan
Many believers struggle to align themselves with God’s plan, primarily because they do not know it. God’s plan is complex, and although it can be simplified, believers often misunderstand it when it is simplified for them.
Let me give you an example. I once witnessed a believer receiving a message from God. The message was God’s plan for her life, but it was too simplified. God told her, “I will wipe your tears.” As you would expect, she was exceedingly happy with that message.
However, the Holy Spirit helped me understand the deeper meaning of that message, something the sister did not understand. When God said, “I will wipe your tears,” He omitted the part where she would first have to shed those tears. The Lord was leading her into a season of trials that would cause her to shed tears. After she had shed those tears, the Lord would then come and wipe them away.
The sister assumed that God was wiping her tears immediately, but in reality, that was only the beginning of her season of tears. She would be greatly gifted by God, but she would also be hated because of that same gift, and it would cause her deep pain. Furthermore, the Holy Spirit enabled me to understand that her life would be full of tears until the end, and God would ultimately wipe her tears after she goes to be with Him. She would also struggle with seeing people perish by rejecting the message God would pass through her. God had intentionally hidden the bitter details of the message, but she had no idea.
This happens often. In such a case, the sister would pray expecting a smooth life, but that would be contrary to God’s plan. She may end up wondering why God is not fulfilling His word over her life, when in reality, she misunderstood Him. When such a person comes to me for prayer advice, I find myself in a difficult position, unsure whether to reveal the full details or omit them, just as God did.
2. Making Specific Prayers
God, by nature, has no limits, but as humans, we do. For this reason, when God wants to answer our prayers, He often works within the limits we set for Him. However, mainstream teachings on prayer usually encourage believers not to set limits for God. If a believer does not set limits, God may use His limitless wisdom to answer the prayer. This is a good thing, but the believer may not like the outcome.
Let me explain. When a believer prays, “God, make my life beautiful,” many things remain unspecified. One, which life are you referring to, your present life or your life to come? Two, how much fire are you willing to go through to become beautiful? Three, what kind of beauty are you referring to, outward appearance, material beauty, or the beauty of your character?
In extreme cases, God may even allow physical beauty to be diminished in order to perfect inner beauty, like in the case of Job in the Bible. By default, God values your life-to-come more than your earthly life. For this reason, He may primarily place you on a path that prepares you for beauty in your eternal life.
Then He may begin to tell you things like, “I will give you beauty beyond description,” and you may start wondering why you cannot see even a glimpse of that beauty now. If you desire beauty in your physical life, be specific. Say, “May my days on earth be full of Your beauty,” that way, God will make your physical life beautiful.
The Furnace of Refinement
Unknown to some believers, the greater the request you make to God, the hotter the furnace of refinement, and the longer the refinement process. This is why Jesus advised people to count the cost before they begin building, as seen in Luke 14:28.
If a beautiful life for you means a good marriage, financial stability, and loving relationships, then be prepared to be refined in three different furnaces. Everything we request from God is often given after we are shaped to sustain it.
Some believers say that Jesus Christ paid everything for us to have a beautiful life, and they are not wrong. But let me ask you a simple question, if you pay the full price for a car and gift it to your friend, can they drive it without a license? Of course not. Likewise, we do not pay to receive blessings from God. Instead, we go through training to learn how to manage and enjoy those blessings, made available to us through the price that Jesus paid.
Therefore, if you have been praying and not seeing results, it may be time to specify your requests, clarify your limits, and align your expectations with God’s plan. God bless you.